after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
