Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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