So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
