onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
