So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
