All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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