I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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