I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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