They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
