just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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