4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it hurts more in the daytime
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
