I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
