I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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