I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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