he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
