So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
