Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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