She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
