Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the high leading the old right now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
