Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
