big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
