There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He shit in the fireplace
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