My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
