Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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