there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
