this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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