im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
