I can text with my tongue
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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