she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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