someone get that fucking seahorse.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
