She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
