omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
