i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best revenge is premature balding
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
