I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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