I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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