We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
the gays at disneyland are vicious
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
