i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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