careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
