You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
