Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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