singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
