im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
