ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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