Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
