Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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