This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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