Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
