Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize