butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
