You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
