As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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