Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
