It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
