who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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