Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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