He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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