Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
