Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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