I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
