Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
