Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
