Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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