I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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